taratsilipin

Lastnight, I feel so much pain in my stomach.. kc wala lang.. I dOnt know what to say to him kc.. ehe.. lam nyO kc, pabirO lahat ng cnasbi ko.. kaya ang hirap magsabi ng feeling’s.. huhuhu.. If he only know’s how I feel..

I also memorizing a lot of procedures since yesterday.. as i’ve told you guy’s, this is now the start of the dilubyo in my college life.. sO think about it 1st, if you really want to pursue nursing.. coz it’s not a joke.. ur handling life.. and it’s not that easy..see? u have to make evrything’s right.. u have to be perfectionist.. the credit is w/ yah at end.. a so called “THANKS” for saving their lives.. have a great day!

Currently listening: nothing..
Currently feeling: shocked

.. Well here I am now facing the true reality of -NURSING-. .3rd year is so much toxic!, the class only introducing the course, but I can feel the smoke that suffocates me and covering my lungs. I just can’t breath. I thought my 2years in nursing course is the start of dilemma which is I said “Kayang kaya naman pala eh..” .. but what worse? 3rd year is not just an ordinary, sobrang humirap xa!.. what can I anticipate?

Last monday the C.I. starts demonstrating us the scrubbing, gloving, gowning, catheterisation, colostomy, feeding, bathing, diapering.. all of this in just 3 days.. and take note! we are going to return demo all of this next week. Sound’s easy ha?! kala nyo lang yun! kung alam nyo lang.. kung gaano kadaming steps and rationale behind everything this, sobrang you will get sick! thank’s God, I’m still alive and kickin.. kaya lang my brain neuron di na ata nagfufunction.. I can’t absorb na everything eh, sobrang nalito na talaga ako sa dami ng pinagagawa samin..

Pharmacology is also my problem. Dean is just reading her acetates and explaining us those suck! Medicines that where going to memorize, not just to MEMORIZE! also on how to compute the dosage.. Terrible! like I am on the horryfying film.. I was the actress who run away from all this zombie professor’s.. 

I just had my 1st quiz in pharma and I suck in that quiz.. count also my NCM lecture which is also sucks! because it’s all about the anatomy of reproductive system..  OMG! do you think I will survive in this kind of catastrophe? I reall sucks! huhuhu.. 3.00 is not good at all to see in your report card..  It’s like you didn’t do anything.. how I wish I can get enough with all this.. buti sana if i2 lang yung prob. ko, pati sa puso merOn pa.. I keep on thinking about it pa.. so it add’s more anxiety to me.

Anyway.. I just had a hard time to blog here’ so just bare w/ me..

Currently listening: sabihin muna

Instructions :The first player of this game starts with the “6 weird things/habits about yourself” and people who get tagged, need to write a blog of their 6 weird habit/things, as well as state this rule clearly.. in the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names

1. I love to read his msg. all and all over again! (secret)

Because.. It make’s me happy, though I can’t see him.. I just feel his presence by reading all those msgs. (quotes or even old. msg.) I save it in the inbox or archives. I keep his sweet msgs. and lasted for a year now in my cp.. and still reading it! (kilig!)

2. I talked to myself a million times

I usually discussed self opinion to myself rather telling this to other people, because I just can’t share those simple things.. kc sa sobrang non-sense eh baka they will not get interested.. so I laughed alone and make face sometimes.. they just don’t even know, what does it means.. parang baliw na biglang tumawa! and sometime’s bigla na lang nabadtrip!

3. I sleep alone in the classroom.

Because PHCM is the most extravagant school(opposite what I mean) compared to FEU!, I can’t find any place to spend my vacant period.. sO I just stay in one classroom and sleep there, alarming my cellphone..so I will not be late in the next class. ur aksing why I’m alone? just because you need to read this topic [wasted time] so you will understand..

4. I sing alone in the classroom like it was a concert!

Again, because I’m spending my vacant alone.. due to the wasted time topic! (you really need to read that!) I sing up to the top of my lung’s w/out even bothering who will check and see me in that classroom.. I really do not care! the hell you care! kumbaga.. hahaha…

5. I often reminisce the old time, when I was in the FEU w/ kumpleto pang tropa!

I think about them time to time.. kahit naglalakad ako, in the fx, eating, sleeping.. basta I missed them soo muchhh…

6. I drink redhorse to let myself cry! hahaha..

I just dont know, basta when I drink liquor I can’t stop crying in my bed.. abnormal na ata ako! and thinking about all the sadness thing in life.. drowning myself in sorrow.. SO WEIRD!!!

I will tagged : euri.. mikmik, pianista, eca, achagirl, blair..

Currently listening: same ground
Currently feeling: where he is?!! missing!!

.. sO again..I have a 6 hours vacant because our prof. in the NCM 201 dismissed us early. She will attend a meeting. It’s nice that we have a longer period of vacant, but hello! lang.. I’m the only one who took the English 3 subject. So I have to wait alone here in the school,my friends have to go home ofcourse coz they don’t have next class. Buti pa sila! they can rest and watch TV.. I’m here alone in the internet cafe, nothing to do and no one to talked to.. my GOD! if patient is not only the virtue, I wont stay here for long. I will not attend my English 3, but because I’m a student.. patient is what I need!!.

I saw my prof. in English3, I approached him and ask about his next class for today.. but he said he will have it at 6pm pa! OMG! so talagang I need to stay here and wait til the clock tik at 7pm!.. I can’t do anything, I txt my mom na nga eh.. :’(  Geez! I can’t stay longer here in the internet cafe, mauubos ang pera koh! 25pes. pa naman ang 1hour.. waaaahhhh!.

Dropping and adding of subject will be on mond. but I will not drop my English3, because I already enjoy the 2 consecutive meeting and I find it interesting.. you know SPEECH!!.. the problem here is I need to broaden my english lexicon. He is the dean of the MASCOM and he doesn’t allow us to talked in tagalog during his class. He really wanted us to speak in English.. which is ofcourse a practise for us. di naman ako umaapila dun!..

On mond. our duty will start, 11am-3pm sa 7th floor of PHCM-hosp. skill’s lab. Other’s will have their duty in Philippine’s Naval, Barangay Sitio etc.. at i2 pa! 3pm-11pm God! di ko ata kakayanin yung ganung duty, I have to rent for appartment na or mag dorm na kung ganun.. kasi di lang pagod sa byahe, pagod pa sa aral.. baka bumagsak ang katawan ko nyan.. :’( Thank’s God I only have it here in school..

I still have one more problem or 2 more.. to say. Our pharmacology, The dean of the nursing department kc is the one who hold our class.. and ofcourse, DEAN ba naman humawak sa sec. mo.. nasa sec. C kasi ang lola mo eh! so malamang 1 of the highest section during battery exam result.. ayun kaya mga bigatin may hawak samin na prof. huhuhu.. How I wish I failed the bat.exam so dun lang ako sa SEC J or etc.. I also find my section weird! kasi they are all studying, upon entering the class.. nag-aadvance study ba naman! di kc ako ganun eh.. I’m the type of person who just study if it’s needed.. but hey! kahit gani2 ako.. I still top the rank hehehe.. I just don’t want to drown myself studying . I just take it easy, but not really easy.. I just go on to the flow! relax lang.. ganun.. I’m pessimistic person din kasi.. so I view everything in the negative site.. haha.. but that’s help me a lot for sometimes. Sometime’s thinking positive too much will dissapoint you, I bet you agree.. sO I rather think it in the other side rather expecting and failed.. mabute na yun, na surprised ako.. kesa umasa ako sa bagay na di ko nakuha.. I have no regret’s.. hehehe..

Another problem here in the table is the books! my God! our pharmacology have different references, eh di ko alam what book should I buy.. so I just think na it’s better to photocopy na lang instead of buying books which is totally will give you an empty pocket!.. it cost too much! thousand should I say.. Maybe I will buy the DOH book, Maternal Health care on mond. but the pharma, bahala na muna.. I still can’t come out with a book that I really need. since all book is required.. Gee!!!

Hai.. wala na talaga ako magawa, nd2 na kc ako sa PHCM! may magagawa pa ba ako?! I’m totally released in FEU! huhuhu.. I really want to go back there and continue my nursing course there, but I can’t.. I just have to deal in this school.. for so called PATIENT!..

Note: I can’t promise to update my blog as always, due to different kind of circumstances.. see yah! Comment’s and tag’s are open for all!!

Currently listening: nothing..
Currently feeling: need your sympathy

Ng mag-usap ang utak at puso

Maikling kwento: Jeniffer Antonio

Natutulog si Juan at sa kanyang panaginip nakita niyang naguusap ang kanyang mismong utak at puso.

Pangyayari: Nagiinuman

Utak: (nakangiti) pare, kamusta ka na?
Puso: (pilit ang ngiti) ayos lang. Ikaw?
Utak: Wala ka pa ring pinagbago ah!, pilit pa ring tinatago ang iyong nararamdaaman. O tagay muna!
Puso: (tumagay at nagisip ng malalim) Ano bang dapat kong gawin?
Utak: (tumingin ng malalim sa kanyang kaibigan) Pare, kahit ano namang sabihin ko sayo pilit mo pa rin siyang minamahal kahit na nasasaktan ka na.
Puso: (yumuko at matagal nakapagsalita) may magagawa ba ako? Kung palagi na lang siyang nasa alaala mo?
Utak: hindi naman siya mananatili sa alaala ko kung tinutulungan mo akong burahin ang nararamdaman mo para sa kanya. Alam mong di tayo kailanman pwedeng paghiwalayin. Kahit na minsan nag-aaway tayo di rin naten matagalan ang isat-isa.
Puso: Di ko alam pare, nahihirapan ako. Sa tuwing nabubuo sa alaala mo ang mga masasayang nakaraan di ko mapigilang masaktan. Dina kasi kami tulad ng date, wala na siya. Iniwan niya na ako. Masama bang magmahal?
Utak: Di masamang magmahal, di lang talaga siguro kayo para sa isa’t-isa.
Puso: Ngunit bakit kung hindi kami para sa isa’t-isa, bakit patuloy may nagpapaalala  na bagay sa kanya sa iyong isipan. Bakit ang mga pangyayari ay katulad ng nanyari sa amin noon. At bakit hanggang ngayon ramdam ko pa ring mahal ko siya?
Utak: (uminom muna ng red horse) May mga bagay talagang hindi maipaliwanag, kahit na ako ilang beses ko din naitanong ang mga bagay nayan. Sumasakit nga din ang buong parte ng ulo ko.
Puso: Ulo mo? Eh diba ikaw na ang parte ng ulo?
Utak: hahaha..
Puso: tagay muna!
Utak: sige!
Puso: Sana bukas pag gising ko at pag gising mo wala na siya sa puso ko at alaala mo?
Utak: pare lasing ka na din ata, hahaha..
Puso: bakit?
Utak: E dba ikaw na ang puso? Bakit sabi mo sana mawala na siya sa puso mo?
Puso: hahaha..
Utak: sa ngayon nagagawa nateng tumawa kasi pareho na tayong bangag! Pero bukas nandyan pa rin yung problema nateng dalawa.
Puso: Yaan mo! Darating din ang araw na magiging malinaw na ang lahat.
Utak: Linya ko ata yan ha?! Hehehe..
Puso: hahaha.. sige’ tagay na lang ng tagay!
Utak: Pare wag ka magalala magiging maayos din ang lahat.
Puso: (nakatingin sa malayo) sana nga pare.. sana nga…

Tulungan ninyong solusyunan ang problema ng dalawang magkaibigan. Kumento ay bukas para sa inyong matitinong at di lasing na isipan.

Currently listening: para sayo
Currently feeling: feeling deja vu all the t

It’s the 1^st day of school today, so my mom wake me up so early 3am pa lang ha!.. We have our orientation kasi in Philippine’s Naval Hospital, where in where going to have our duty soon I have to be there kasi in 6am, since we are from san mateo rizal I really need to leave as early so I won’t be late. We took taxi in cubao w/ my mom to go to school. We are in hurry kasi. I arrived there around 5:30am and so I txt mhelai and Sandra to tell them that there is a bus that will take us in PNH. We paid php100 back and fourth. We arrived there around 8:30am and the orientation start. It’s just all about the policies(rules & regulation) in the hospital. We will be assigned there kasi as soon as the duty will start next week. The student’s there are Sec ABCD. Unfortunately due to conflict in schedule, some student get there w/out prior notice that the schedule has been changed. Sad to say phoebe was there dapat di pa xa ngayon eh.

FEU is also there, ofcourse I’m still in hehehe.. I just miss being a tamaraw!! OMG! I can’t help to think about what happen, that was a terrible nightmare that I will never forget. Well, I’m now learning to accept my new school since most of the student’s are also transferee from FEU. Good thing is I have known Sandra last summer so we are classmate’s this sem. Mhelai was also my classmate back then in my summer class in FEU .

We back at school as early as I expected. Only 10:30am in my watch. We take our lunch 1^st w/ froilan, Sandra, tin, rosvel, marnie and kire. Then marnie and kire separate w/ us because they will get their xray result. We helped tin to looked for a bedspace. We asked 2 dorms. We stayed in rosvel apartment and we really love the place. Tin wanted to rent for a space there but unfortunately there is no available space anymore. We just talked there waiting for the rain to stop. Froilan start to tell a story about her funny-drama lovelife which is about her ex. I was listening all through out the stories and I find them very different, which is gives the exact reason  why it’s funny and kinda dramatic. Well a combination of that

Rosvel, invite us to drink.. well, what can I do? I can’t say no!. Bonding kasi eh.. new friend’s!.. We order half case of redhorse and a packed of lala.. I bought candies. Hahaha.. I was drinking redhorse solo flight but I really feel dizzy kanina.. I started to laughed, I just can’t stop.. I feel high so much!! As in!!!.. They are just laughing to me because they never thought that I will burse  like that.. I also never thought I would act in such way. Well, inborn naman talaga sakin ang sense of humor.. only 1 person lang ang di nagaacept haha.. sino kaya un?!..

Well, because I’m dizzy kasi may tama na ako.. I still managed to attend the orientation 3pm-5pm. Sandra, can’t..sobrang tama na talaga eh..nahihilo na ata xa.. Ann txted me, nagulat ako kasi she is looking for me. I just met her in the school supply and she asked me about how to get the uniform/ID/Room of his cousin which is w/ her that time. Dun pala yun mag-aaral.

So I go back in the inuman session nila dun, just to say goodbye because I’m going home. Well gus2 nila ako ihatid kaya lang I refused. I don’t want kasi na maabala ko sila sa inuman nila dun. Ayun, kahit gegewang gewang at sobrang sakit ng ulo.. nakauwi naman. Ito pa nga I can still blog.. pero nahihilo na ako.. haha.. I have to sleep na!! Gudnight!!

Currently listening: nasan ka
Currently feeling: drunk

Last night was supposed to be the inumang tropa, but turns to be a solo flight . I was the only one drinking red horse while watching T.V., my ermatz was so good that she wanted to be with me. So she also drink w/ me, but I still feel incomplete. It will be better if they are here. My mom feel sleepy because she feels dizzy! (lasing na) so I let her sleep and I surf the internet instead. There still one more bottle left, but because I feel irritated I didn’t open it. I just put it in the refrigerator instead.

Around 11:51pm he txted, he send a blank msg. and 1 funny quote(not really.. it’s a corny joke) that’s all. I txted him earlier around 4:30pm upon awakening in the afternoon but he didn’t reply. It’s too late when he txt to me, I feel annoyed once more so I don’t reply. I turn off the computer and go to my bed. I’m still awake, thinking him of course. I still end crying again, still reminiscing what we have in the past. If I could only turn back the hands of time. I will make everything right between us. But somehow the feeling of uncertain gives me that hesitation to show him how I feel. It’s too complicated and I don’t know the reason. See? I’m the only one who think about this. How about him? Does he feel the same?. I don’t know what in his mind. Is he my destiny?. Thought I want to forget him, he will just pop up somewhere out here in my mind. I end up still loving him more.

Just upon awakening this morning, I got my period. I have my dysmenorrhea so I cried in pain. I go to the toilet several times and I vomit. I perspire too cold. I can’t eat well so I sleep trice this day. I’m okay now, see I can blog again.

Currently listening: when i see you smile
Currently feeling: sad

This is it! hehe.. finally [we] are done w/ my 1st layout here in tabulas.. yup! we, kc I asked help to ate euri’ wow! she is so nice, she arranged all the messy html tag I made *lol* which is the reason why I had a hardtime to set my template here.. *big thanks and hugs* to ate euri’ mwaaah…

All credits are given listed at the sidepage.. :p I hope I didn’t miss anyone, just remind me if I forgotten something.. [v.1 the roads we are taken] is the name of this layout. I love color brown for webpage. It give’s more sophisticated look and more professional view isn’t it?? hihi..

I’m planning to move this in [co.nr] my fav. domain site. to give a short url. Mas nice kc dba?. I made a lot of site since highschool but it never take’s long, for I easily get bored and want something new.. so I have lot’s of blog.. *sigh* if only I could transfer all those here.. I hope this will be the last blog.. I’m tired of changing it :p but layout will changed ofcourse..

I also asked ate vicky for button, hope she can made it for me
I also make visit other blog for a new idea.. I always have a new idea in my mind that just flicked out somewhere outhere haha..

Yesterday I go to the doctor w/ my mom, I have a problem w/ my ear kc eh.. I can’t hear well saka it’s too itchy. Doctor give me a anti-fungal medicine, which I can only use once in a week. I also visit my bezbudz in their house, nagyaya maginuman.. haha.. but we set it today, around 5pm.. I hope so, they could come..w/ my fav. chicharon..hehe..

Lastnight I had a very gudnyt sleep. well don’t asked. hey stay hangin. hope to catch you here.

Currently listening: narda
Currently watching: myx countdown
Currently feeling: accomplished

It takes a few days again for me to post here.. but anyway, ‘m still busy nothing’s change

Wednesday:

I’m in the schOol, which is the most tiring day.. di kc ako napapagod when it comes to enlisting myself yung sa mga enrolment. Di ko maintindihan bakit kailangan ng madaming bagay na ipasa, bago makapag enrolled. 1^st, I have to meet the DEAN for the final interview.. binigyan nya ako ng mga subjects na dapat kunin ko for this sem, since marami pa akong kailangan na subjects na kunin since transferee ako galing FEU. Antagal2 pa naman kc ang daming students, eh di nya naman yun kayang iinterview ng 1 araw lang.. yung mga pangkahapon nga eh, hanggang ngayon nagpapainterview padin.. yung iba naman di parin tapos ng kanilang Physical exam, ang dami kasing estudyante na ngayon lang nagpakuha.. buti na lang di naku isa dun sa mga yun and interview na lang hinihintay ko. Tapos nagpaevaluate pa ko ng mga grades ko nung summer na 2.. ang nakakainis kc d2, yung grades mo ikaw talaga ang may hawak.. wala silang duplicate copy ni2.. nakakainis dba? D 2lad sa FEU.. kahit mawala mo yun meron cla kasi naka computer lahat ng binibigay sayo.. walang mano mano!.. eh d2, puro hand written! Ultimo mga resibo sinusulatan.. imbes sa computer.. pati sched! Nakasulat.. private school naman.. nagmumuka 2loy na public..

Buti na lang sa haba nung pila ng enrollment sa 7thflr. Eh siningit ako ng mga friends ko, naaawa kc cla sa mom ko kc antagal na ako ni2 hinihintay.. xa kc may hawak nung pera di naman ako.. Di rin ako sanay kc talaga na ako ang nageenrol sa sarili koh.. since fr. Gradesch. My mom is the one who enrolled me.. anyway, di ako isip bata.. di lang ako sinanay na maghawak ng malaking pera..hehe.. pati nga ATM ko, di ko hawk eh.. baka mawala ko kc..tapos ayun naka enrol din.. may uwi na naman ako ng 8pm.. at may pasok ako ng 6pm.. pano ko kaya mamanaged ung tym ko d2.. bakit ang hirap.. date sa FEU parang andaling kumuha ng 1.00, d2 parang dugot pawis bago makakuha ng ganun..

Then, nung gabi nun naka 2 akong redhorse..  magisa lang ako.. nakikisawsaw pa mom ko hehe.. pero onti lang.. she really doesn’t drink unlike me.. pigil pa nga yun hehe.. then ung katxt ko eh bigla na lang di nagreply.. how sad 2loy.. nakakamiss talaga xa.. I miss him talaga, ilang buwan na kaming di nagkikita.. ano na kayang itsura nya.. huhuhu.. bakit ba kc dapat maghiwalay kami eh!!! Kung pwede naman kming classmates..

Thursday:

Ayun nagpunta ako sa Index salon, nagpa rebond ang lola nyo hehe.. new look din ako kc nagpagupit ako.. sobrang layered talaga.. then, di daw ako pwede magbasa ng buhok for 3 days to maintain my hair.. and I have to use conditioner which I usually do naman talaga.. but I can’t used shampoo for 1 week atleast.. so malaking pasakit talaga i2ng buhok ko ngayon.. puro shower lang ako ngayon.. ang init 2loy sa bumbunan..

After nun.. sakay kami ng cab ng mom ko, papuntang sm mall of asia.. sobrang laki talaga!.. di nga daw kaya libutin yun ng 1 araw lang, di pa nga bukas yung ibang boutique eh.. ofcourse bench, penshoppe, hangten, freeway, oxygen,bayo, girbaud etc.. na sobrang pamilyar na sa vocabulary ng kabataan eh open na.. yung iba na parang pang states pa yung boutique ay di parin open.. sa July pa yung iba eh.. tapos madami din kainan sa baba.. and malaki din yung space sa mga parking lot.. ang laki din nung global map sa gitna nun, parang xmas tree.. haha.. it change color kasi sa gabi..hehe..

I told 2 my other classmates and friends.. they asked me how to get there.. which I don’t how to take a ride, basta taxi lang talaga alam koh.. hehe..

Currently listening: toll gate
Currently feeling: tired

I arrived in the school around 8:00am ksi I’m going to get the result of my xray last Friday in the school clinic. Sobrang dame ng tao, I thought ako na ang early bird.. andami narin palang nauna sakin. I saw melody, agnes and lawrence kaya nakisingit na lang ako sa kanila, kesa naman pumila ako sa likod hehe.. so habang inaantay nmin ung pagbukas nung clinic, we talk anything under the sun especially mga artistang babae.. haha.. we compared each of them, kung sino maganda at hindi.. hehe.. then we also started to point those people who pass us by, kung sino yung medyo angat yung dating haha.. and some of them we criticize.. haha.. its natural naman ksi 2 a human being to point out those things, though you also consider yourself doesn’t belong to the clan haha.. gets??..

Habang pila talaga, tapos meron nakapuna ng pilang toh.. and then he asked if kung pwede na dun kami maghintay sa taas ng 3^rd floor para mas mapadali.. kasi sobrang nagkakagulo and over crowded dun sa school clinic, di mahulugan ng karayong.. nagsamasama na ang amoy, tapos pawis na pawis na kame at nagkakainitan na ng ulo yung iba.. hehe..luckily maaga akong natawag at pang 23 ako sa bilang. Then we take our lunch 1^st and we back at exactly 1:00pm.. I just saw corie, telling a story about the situation on the other side.. dun naman yun sa hospital namin, sobrang 2 lines daw at abot na ng 3^rd floor ang pila.. yun yung mga taong magpapasa pa lang stool and urine nila, and then they have to wait for the result before they proceed to xray.. dba?! Ang daming ginagawa.. for men, sandali lang kasi they don’t need a pregnancy test, malamang!! Haha.. imagine men taking pregnancy test! Awwoooh! Kaloka.. so ayun 4pm naku natapos, I have my HEPA B 1^st dose vaccine and sa july 5 & aug. 5 yung 2^nd dose and 3^rd dose.. btw sa diagnosis ko, haha.. Im underweight hahaha.. so the doctor recommend na I take sustagen premium and centrum, which I take that vitamins naman eh.. ewan ko ba bakit ako underweight kahit dati pa, eh ang dami ko naman kung kumain.. ewan ko ba.. maybe because everytime I eat foods, madali ako maTooott.. hehe.. kaya nga I take lots of food sa bahay namin para madaling saluhin ng aking trono sa banyo hehe.. saka I think stress din ksi ako for this whole summer for a lots of reason.. :p

Ayun, dapat may inuman kami ngayon eh.. malas naman! I2ng c rachel ay nilagnat,.. ayan 2loy di kami na2loy.. d bale bukas na lang.. buti na rin siguro yun, kasi may interview ako bukas sa dean.. haha.. take note! Dean yun.. baka mapansing may hang over ako.. hehe.. Its God’s will.. hai.. can’t help to think about – as in lagi na lang..

Currently listening: all i need
Currently feeling: restless